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Feminization of Love Signs and Black Intimacies
Feminization of Love
Francesca Cancian in this article asserts that women are knows how to love better than men. She cited several evidences of how women are raised to love men and their families. Women in a society which promotes the femininity of women produce women who are more verbally open, emotionally expressive, and tend to be forthcoming to the ones whom they have close relationship with. On the other hand, Cancian continues to explain that men are taught by the society to be masculine. The masculinity compels them to be more isolated and to have weaker relationship ties with family and friends. Most men Cancian said do not have a loving relationship.
Personally, I do not approve of literature that proliferate the stereotype view of men and women which are masculine and feminine. The practice of this stereotype is bred by the society and it is not innate for human beings. As a feminist, popularizing this view is anti-women. It will just give a justification for men who beat their wives of partners because they are naturally raised to have lesser love in their system. Moreover, femininity today is not just confined for women. I saw men who are more loving than women. There are male homosexuals who are more feminine than straight women.
Sherly Hill in her article asserts that the dilemma of African Americans in intimate relationship is a result of the historically implanted class and race discrimination and violence. Hill continues to explain that intimate relationship among African men and women usually fail to build a smooth sailing intimate relationship. She cited that throughout history, Black men were not able to defend their partners in public due to racial implications. Unlike the White American stereotype standard for men to be more dominant and the family’s provider, Black men cannot provide for their families and cannot impose dominance over Black women. It is because of class and racial discrimination that they cannot land to more stable jobs. Black women on the other hand have female networks outside that help them to find jobs. They are more independent in terms of finance as they can fend for their selves.
I do agree with the assertion of Hill that they cannot build a smooth sailing relationship as the standard for them of a good relationship is that women are submissive and men are dominant. In reality, they cannot fulfil the standard that is leading them to have rocky relationships which are full of doubts, remorse, and blame game. The standard set for intimate relationship is not in synced by the realty for the African Americans. They do not have the class and racial privilege that White Americans have in fulfilling the said standard.
Cancian, F.M. (1986). The Feminization of Love. JSTOR, 11 no. 4, pp. 692-709. Retrieved from http://.jstor.org/sici?sici=0097-9740%28198622%2911%3A4%3C692%3ATFOL%3E2.0.CO%3B2-K
Hill, S. “Black Intimacies.” Gender in Intimate Relationships, pp. 415-424.
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