Good Example Of Essay On Factory Farming

Critical thinking is essential in every writing that is to be considered as of good quality. Proficient writers can as well be held back if they do not revise their writing and ensure that they adhere to good quality (Andersen). This paper analyzes the organizational structure, grammar and gives overall opinion based on the essay of ‘Factory Farming’.
The thesis of the paper is on how factory farming contributes to animal cruelty and the possible solutions to it. The organizational structure of the paper is works out very well. The writer starts with cattle which is a major component in factory farming and subsequently, talks about pigs and chicken in an orderly manner. In paragraph four, sentence five does not go well with the topic sentence as it should be in paragraph three, in which the author explains about the poor conditions where cows live. The introduction and conclusion functions well in their roles, the writer in the introduction introduces his argument about sensitizing people on factory farming, he also reinforces his argument in the conclusion by making people to analyze operation in factory farming.
In paragraph six, sentence seven, we can use sentence variety, by saying,” they were holding facilities were cows were provided with food”. There is a grammatical error in the first line in the second last paragraph it should be “the other farm raised animals” and not “other farm raised animals”.
I will rate the essay of 8 out of 10, firstly the writer has focused on one single idea and each paragraph supports a central idea such as on cows, pigs and chicken. Secondly the article is logically organized and most paragraphs stick to the point. Finally the author should focus on his thesis, he should have introduced the body of the essay by clearly showing the key issues he was going to talk about such processes in factory production and their impact on animals. He should also work on clarification of these issues by deeply examining how animals are exploited to give us a clear picture and relevant examples.

References

Andersen, K. (n.d.). Guidelines for critical thinking. Retrieved from http://public.wsu.edu/~kimander/criticalthinking.htm