Free Essay About Marrying A Traditional Chinese Wife

Introduction

The institution of marriage is very critical in a persons’ life. Nonetheless, marriage has always been a challenging endeavor especially the part of finding a reasonable wife. This might not only present you with problems, but so many happenings are likely to take place. It occurred to me after desperately searching for a spouse some years back. At first, I thought I found heaven since I fell head over heels which of course made me very happy but this was not to be especially after undergoing so many problems that came to be. It all started while attending one of the Chinese cultural events that I bumped into a lady who appeared to be very beautiful, cultured and charming. After a brief introduction over a cup of tea, I immediately fell in love with her, and we ended up marrying and staying together. Apart from the beauty of this lady what attracted me to her most is their culture.

Problems that I encountered

Fast forward one year down the line, due to differences in culture and expectation I started realizing that there are so many challenges that existed n this marriage which made it hard for us to cope. Every time we tried to solve our differences we found ourselves differing even more. This was because Chinese families prefer their children to date and marry within their community. In fact, it is not advisable to go out with the aim of marrying a Chinese girl, by doing this you will be going against her parents’ wishes. To me, though I knew that this could be a challenge, I was so much in love to stop. The other problems were also the issue to do with gender roles. Although traditional society always places men above women, according to the Chinese this was not the case since they treat their women equally. You cannot expect your wife to act the roles that traditional women play.
The relationship with my in-laws also proved to be difficult. In fact, I noticed that in-laws can affect your life in such a scary way that at times you might even become confused in your marriage. For instance, I thought that respect was to be two-way thing but to them respect is just one way since while you are expected to accord her parents respect, you should not expect them to reciprocate. Besides, they also expect you to support them continuously even if it is clear to them that you are struggling. I also found out the sexual behavior of Chinese women is entirely different from that of the western culture. For example, in China sex is something that is limited to the bedroom. There should be no petting, kissing and other behaviors taking place outside the bedroom. I found this rather strange as compared to what I was used to in the west. Marrying a Chinese wife is like you have married the whole family. You are expected to stay with the entire family in your home compromising any form of privacy that you may enjoy.
In any community, the task of bearing the child falls on women and Chinese is not an exception. It is only that with them they expect you to behave as if you were also bearing the child during the nine months of caring the baby. When my wife is sick she expects me to act as if am also sick, this mean that every activity stops including going to work just to attend to her. This is not bad, but if it becomes too frequent it is a bother. Moreover, in Chinese I came to realize that it is not allowed to quarrel with your wife if you do she will try to make a small issue appear as if it is big.

How I overcame the problems

While these problems almost overwhelmed me, in one way or the other, I found myself overcoming them. For instance, concerning gender role I put my wife down and explained to her that in our culture women are not supposed to be equal to men hence she should start behaving like a woman. Secondly, I told her that the moment she is married she should not take it upon her responsibility to take care of her parent so much that she neglects her family. I also introduced her to some of the sexual practices of the west such as petting, kissing and the rest which she found uncomfortable at first, but later she understood and started getting along with my ideas. Apart from these, I was adamant that after marrying her we must stay together and not with her parent and emphasized on the need of having some privacy so that our marriage could work well. Finally, I encouraged her to take her childbearing responsibilities seriously. Overall, marrying a Chinese wife is a great challenge but with the correct information you are most likely to overcome every challenge.