Essay On Parenting
Depending on the age of the child, his behavior and character traits parents can apply a variety of methods of parenting. The choice of methods used by parents in many respects depends on what methods educated parents themselves, what is the level of their pedagogical and psychological knowledge, etc.
Important role in the choice of methods of parenting has a style of parental behavior that can be authoritarian, permissive and democratic.
Methods of parenting not only allow forming a complete harmonious, mature personality, sometimes they cause many psychological complexes.
The Main Methods of Parenting
Method of conversation or persuasion. This method can be used in the parenting of children of different ages and with any character. During the conversation, the parent explains the reasoning for how to behave in a particular situation, clarify the motives of the baby. The tone of voice when speaking parents should be calm, confident, hard. Even year-old kid who cannot answer, carefully obey their parents in response to the tone.
The method of positive reinforcement. Reinforcements - are certain actions of parents, following his act or deed. Reinforcement can be negative or positive (positive). By negative reinforcement we include strict comments punishment to positive - praise, gratitude, positive action on the part of the parent (give candy, include cartoons, give a new toy).
The method of positive reinforcement is to express the child positive emotions caused by his act. If the kid did something right and good, it is always necessary to praise, to express its appreciation, it can be a smile, a kiss, a hug, nice words "You are clever, well done, well doing" or other action that causes the baby's pleasant and positive emotions.
Negative reinforcement method is based on the expression of the negative attitude of the child to his actions. This can be a reproach ("You did very badly, you're upset that parents"), remark ("This is a bad thing, good kids do not do that"), punishment.
Penalties can be different. One kind of punishment is an effective time-out when the baby is left alone for some time, barring something to do and not communicating with him. In families where punishment is widely used time-out, as a rule, there is a designated place where a baby is left for a while, it may be a chair, bench, corner, getting to this place, the child realizes that he made a bad deed and punished for it.
The penalty can also be fine. For a bad deed can take one of the kids toys, you can restrict viewing cartoons or movies, shorten the games. It is not necessary to use as a fine action that the child should be performed with gusto. For example, to force him to read or write, clean room, wash the dishes. This will lead to the fact that the child will perceive these actions as extremely unpleasant and would avoid execution of these processes. A fine may be deprived of sweet or other goodies (but not food).
Method of training can and it sounds a little rough, but it is a method called positive and negative reinforcement. The basis of the method: for good deeds - positive reinforcement for bad behavior - negative. Sometimes this method is also called "carrots and sticks" or "method of rewards and punishments." The basic principle of all these methods is identical, but eats a number of differences, such as the method of training, involves positive reinforcement and reward method involves rewarding. For example, a child washed the dishes, praise immediately after the process - this reinforcement, and promise to go with him on the weekends in the park - a reward.
The method of "1-2-3." An effective method of parenting in situations where it is necessary to immediately stop the bad behavior of the child. Method is that the parent makes a comment about the child's behavior and begins to count to three, if the account at the end of the baby does not stop misbehaving, should be punished. Method is used with children older than two years. Counting to three, and making the spaces between the numbers for a few seconds (4-6 sec.), the parent gives the child a chance to think again, to change their behavior and get out of the situation without punishment. If a baby does not respond to the comments of the adult continues to vandalize and after the count "3", it is necessary to enforce the punishment.
Applying this method, parents should remain calm and not lose confidence, account must be clear, confident voice, if the kid will understand that the parent "on edge", it can continue its activities in the hope that he will be able to succeed.
The method of "broken record". Often in response to their demands, the parent gets a lot of excuses and objections from the child, and shall enter into polemics with him, with the result that does not reach its goals and only losing time. For example: "Alice get dressed to go to kindergarten," "I do not want to kindergarten," "No, you have to go to kindergarten, and mom to work", "I want to stay home with you", "I cannot stay at home" etc. Explaining the kid incomprehensible things for him, mother is just wasting her time and getting out of balance. This conversation can be continued indefinitely. It is necessary to stop the mother to enter into explanations, and repeated his claim as a child begins to do what is necessary. "Alice get dressed to go to kindergarten," "I do not want to kindergarten," "Alice, you have to get dressed and go", "I want you to stay at home", "Alice get dressed, we go into the garden," seeing that mom does not go on and continue the conversation about the useless, the child begins to dress.
Many parents in the process of parenting are using spanking, cuffs, beating. The unequivocal answer to the expense of the effectiveness of this method of parenting has not yet been found. It's no secret that until recently, beating not only used to punish children, but also adults. Today psychologists point method of physical punishment as the most inefficient and traumatic for the young person. If you are a supporter of the use of physical effects on the child, try to use this method only in the most extreme cases of extraordinary. First we need to establish a psychological contact with the child, and try to influence it humanely.
Carl Hart (2003)High price:Drugs,Neuroscience and discovering myself , ch 2,ch3 pg 20 - 64
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