Example Of Nasser Fatima Essay

Sociology

Marriage Agreement
My name: Stacy My partner’s name: Tom
General statement of why we choose to get married:
Our decision to get married stems from our belief in the value of companionship and the importance of being a good example to our children. As a couple who have both been previously married and bring children from the other marriages into the relationship, ensuring that this marriage is one that is solid, stable, and for life is a strong desire for us both.
Each of us believes that the dynamic of a healthy marriage involves some important similarities to be shared. Strong attractions, similar interests to share together, open communication, and a willingness to grow individually and together.
Stacy: I am marrying Tom because I find him extremely handsome, fun, caring, and feel at home when I am in his arms. I feel he completes me. He is a father, and therefore very comfortable in stepping into a parental role with my children.
Tom: I want to marry Stacy because of the beautiful balance in her modern woman stance with a slight old fashion desire to play ‘wife.’ I am sexually attracted to her and love that we both enjoy working out and taking care of our bodies.

A description of specific behavior we plan and expect from each other in each of the following areas:

Money:Each of us commits to providing complete open and honesty display of the financial condition we are entering into the marriage with. For example, a credit report, documentation of all debts and savings or retirement, as well as any other valuable assets. We will contractually acknowledge what good and bad financial issues we bring into the marriage, and clarify who and how those issues will be managed. Discussing the financial expectations each of us has in our personal goals as well as goals as a couple should be explored in detail.
Sex: One of the strengths in our connection is the sexual compatibility we share. From the first moment of intimacy onward, the sex has been something we enjoy and expect on a regular basis. Going over one week without sexual intercourse, unless medically necessary is a sign of trouble that needs to be discussed. The other important agreement is that we can openly share fantasies; however, the relationship is to remain 100% monogamous.
Careers: We both want to be able to pursue our careers if we are passionate about it, and do not want to interfere with each other’s career goals. However, any drastic changes that will affect the family unit are scenarios that must be discussed with one another prior to the final decision-making. Our careers should also not take precedence of our relationship or family.
Children: As a couple who is entering the marriage each with children of our own, we agree to ensure that we provide a place in our home for any of our children to live or visit based on pre-existing custody arrangements with the biological parents of the children. The other agreement we have is that if we are able to, we will decide to have at least one child together in the marriage.
In-Laws: The agreement with the in-laws is slightly different with Stacy’s parents and family than it is with Tom’s. Stacy’s family is very close and willing to do anything for each other, and they are an integral part of her life, which Tom has accepted and embraced. Tom’s family, on the other hand goes years without seeing one another and do not do much to help each other out. For this reason, Stacy and Tom agree to prioritize the relationship with Stacy’s parents and family before Tom’s.
Residence: The agreement for the residence is based on the cost and location of the home. The residence must be within one hour’s drive from each person’s job, no further, and the community must have a great school district. A family oriented community is a big factor in choosing the area of residence.
Household Duties: If both of us are working, then all chores in the home must be equally split. If one is at home and unemployed, that spouse will bear the brunt of the household chores. However, if we both work then her are examples of what is expected of each of us- If one person cooks the meal, the other one is responsible for the clean up afterwards; the one who washes laundry gets to let the other person fold and put the clean clothes away; Tom is responsible for outdoor clean up, and Stacy will clean the bathrooms.
Friends: We want to be able to have our friendships, but we must know who each other’s friends are. Stacy does not find it acceptable for Tom to have close friendships with women she does not know or is not also friends with. A balance of having friends together and separately is what we hope for.
Recreation: Our larger vacations will include, one year where it is only the two of us, the following year can involve the kids. Trips without one another are fine, so long as it does not take away from our couple’s or family getaway. On a simpler smaller scale, we should have a weekly date night with each other and one family date night with the kids.
Religion: Neither one of us is currently practicing a particular religion, but we honor what we have believed in throughout our lives prior to meeting one another. If one of us were to decide to adopt a religion, then we should be mindful that it does not interrupt the agreements of our marriage. If the religion requires the individuals to change themselves drastically, then discussion and counseling must occur prior to this new life change.
Problem Solving Techniques: When an issue arises, we agree to handle it as quickly as possible, but not when the emotions have taken over. Instead of making hasty decisions to figure the problem out during a heated argument, we agree to wait until both individuals are calm and collected before getting into the problem solving.
Division of Property Upon Termination of Marriage: Although we have committed to doing whatever it takes to remain in the marriage, so long as abuse is not a factor, the reality is we cannot know what the future holds. If the marriage comes to an end, a fair and equitable split in items gained during the marriage is expected. If either party comes into the marriage with assets of his or her own, then they should have full rights to leave with what they came in with.
Pets: Neither of us likes cats, we are both allergic, so cats are forbidden. There is some interest by both individuals to want a dog, but there is hesitation because of the responsibility that it requires. If either person wanted to have a dog, then a complete agreement of responsibilities will be discussed and put in writing prior to the adoption of a family pet.
Extended Families: We both value the concept of strong family support. Stacy’s family is always a stable in all events that happen in our lives, and it is expected that if Stacy’s parents need care taking as they get older, that they will live with Stacy and Tom. Tom’s family is not close, but because of Stacy’s values of honoring parents and family, she has agreed to care for Tom’s parents as well if the need arises.
Life Support: It is Stacy’s wish that if her health is in such bad shape that the outlook on the quality of her life is bleak, she prefers not being placed on life support. Stacy also wishes for cremation after her passing, she is adamant that she should not be buried; this is an extremely important part of Stacy’s request of Tom. Tom has not thought too much about it, however, he shares a similar opinion in regard to being removed from life support if he is to live life in a vegetative state.
Child Custody in case of Divorce: If the marriage comes to a divorce, both individuals will honor the relationship each has with the step-children and allow for visitations and a relationship to continue with the step children. If a child is biologically theirs, then a 50/50 on custody is expected.

Final Thoughts on the Marriage Contract

After completing this marriage contract, I thought it was a brilliant idea for setting the marriage up in a way that will avoid major turmoil in important matters. If this type of agreement was legally required to obtain a marriage license I think it would save a lot of people from marrying the wrong person. The contract forces you to think of the realities that marriage will bring with it, not just the fairytale that most people want or expect. The marriage contract is brilliant and the couples who avoid this type of dialogue should be concerned. I say this because I wonder what it is they are avoiding by not discussing these areas of what their marriage will entail.