Good Essay About Ethical Decision With Scott B. Rae’s Model For Moral Decision Making

Type of paper: Essay

Topic: Family, Ethics, Parents, People, Love, Choice, Life, Girlfriend

Pages: 6

Words: 1650

Published: 2021/02/23

It is common for people to face situations that might require them to make tough choices between two ethical issues. Though people try to set boundaries that they expect other people to follow often at times people find themselves overstepping these boundaries. As many, seek to have other people to respect their boundaries often at times they find themselves overstepping other people boundaries. The fact that everyone is susceptible to crossing each other boundary is what pushes many people into dilemmas. One might be challenged on whether they should allow other people to encroach on boundaries or totally block the interference of other people. People should understand that whenever they face challenges they have to follow the various ethical principles to resolve them.
We often go through a process of defining and redefining boundaries every day in the life. There are challenges that people face, and these challenges are always new and this is what pushes us to keep on defining and redefining our boundaries. Many times the boundaries we set try to demarcate where we begin and where we end as individuals. Though it is easy to set these boundaries, the challenges are always in keeping them. There are many ethical tensions that often set in that will at most times force us to compromise our boundaries. Setting up boundaries is not a process that occurs at once. It is a continual series of processes in one’s life. It is not possible to set up all you boundaries in just a single day rather you develop them as you grow up in life. There are types of boundaries that are referred to as the temporary boundaries. These are the one that protects you from a situation but soon you abandon them after you have faced out the challenges. When most people are faced with ethical tensions, they are often forced to make a compromise, and this is just allowed. As a young a man I have boundaries that I have set in my life. Though there are situations that often force me to compromise the boundaries I always try my best to remain within the boundaries and also avoid stepping into other people's boundaries. It is always important to understand that as you expect people to respect your boundaries you need also to respect their boundaries.
As life is complicated and confusing trying to maintain, specific boundaries get on to become a challenge, and this is what has pushed me to consider five ethical tensions. As earlier mentioned trying to keep a boundary is one challenge that will often at times force you to choose between one situation over another. Unfortunately, these situations will always lead you to compromise either one of your principles and allow people to step into your boundaries. The choice to stick to one side of the ethical dilemmas is always a hard process, and it always needs a sacrifice. Currently am faced with many situations and dilemmas that I need to handle. These are the ethical tensions that am currently facing. First I have to choose between impressing my girlfriend and pursuing my personal pleasures, spending time with my male friends or spending time with my girlfriend. Am also facing a serious tension between choosing to honor my girlfriend’s wishes and drawing serious defining boundaries. I also have tension between choosing to honor my spouse or honor parents. There is also a problem of whether I should pursue wealth or settle down to take care of the family. Ideally these are the five tensions that are facing.
It is hard to deal with the tensions of life since they are always hard and confusing. First am finding it hard to choose between impressing my girlfriend and pursuing my personal pleasures. As a man, you have things that you love doing on your own without your lady. At times, I always feel like I need to spend time alone, but my girlfriend wants to spend time with me. For instance, during the weekends I love playing football in the afternoon and watching rugby with my boys in the evening. Unfortunately, my girlfriend wants to spend time with me the whole weekend. She argues that she can’t find time in the mid-week to spend with me and the best time she can get to spend with me is on the weekends. As well, she says that she loves me so much, and she feels like it is good for us just to spend the whole weekend together. She argues that if I love her then I should be ready to spend the time with her. It is almost impossible to choose between spending time with my male friends or my girlfriend. While my friends have been around with me for quite some time, my girlfriend is also an important part of my life since she would soon be my wife. This situation puts me into a serious dilemma.
Most of tension I face revolves around my life and that of my girlfriend. It seems that there are things we do not agree on. Some of the things she loves are things that a feel are encroaching into my boundary. She wishes that I should marry her in the next one year, but my plan is to marry when am financially stable. She argues that we can easily work things out together easily, and I should not be worried about finances. But preferably I feel this should not be the case. Am therefore torn between choosing to impress her or stay alive to my boundaries. The biggest challenge am facing is to choose between honoring my parents of following my girlfriend's wishes. Ideally my parents claim that I should not date and marry a lady that is more financially endowed than I. On the other hand my fiancé feels that I should not be worried about her being endowed financially than I do because she is ready to respect me and treat me as her husband. This is a serious challenge that am facing, and I do not have an idea of how am supposed to tackle it. These tensions are taking a tool order on me and settling on one decision seems to be the most daunting thing I have to face (Rae et al., 297).
At this level, I am aware of various ethical principles and, in this case, am going to analyze six of these principles. The six principles are first to honor your parents, put family before career, pursue personal dreams and satisfy the desire for pleasure within reason. As well, there are many other principles such as being honest, respecting the law and pursuing justice. In the first case, one is supposed to honor their parents, but the challenge is always to what extent one should honor their parents. One might be faced with the challenge of whether to choose the parents advice or following your wishes. At times, parents might tend to encroach on one's personal space, and it is at this level that the question of the extent to which one should honor their parents comes in. The biggest challenge is whether one should just honor the parent irrespective of personal choices and personal dreams. It is always true that at times personal wishes and the parent wishes might differ, but the challenge is on which one should take precedence over the other. Secondly there is the principle of choosing family before carriers. There are situations that at times are quite challenging and confusing. For instance, one might be troubled on whether to pursue their career or stay behind to keep the family. The challenge might come in when you have to choose one yet they are both interdependent. In my case am torn between choosing a career and pursuing it first or establishing a family and pursuing the career at some later times. There is also the principle that one should pursue their dreams and goals. Ideally life is challenging, and it is only possible to be successful if you can pursue your dream to the latter. It is only through such pursuance that people realize their potential and also focus on achieving them. Pursuing personal dreams makes one motivated, and thus they can work hard towards achieving those dreams. It is thus evident that there are life principles that one should adhere to as they try to pursue to keep their boundaries. At times, personal boundaries might overstep the other ethical principles, and it only requires one to make a decision on what should take precedence (Rae et al., 297).
It is quite important for one to understand that they have a choice of satisfying their pleasure. Nevertheless, as one struggles to satisfy the desire for pleasure one should be keen not to lead themselves into trouble. Life gives one the opportunity to choose and do what makes them feel good but there are limits to which one can engage in this pleasure. There are other pleasures that are harmful to once life, and it is at this point that one should understand that they need to keep them safe. As you seek to satisfy personal pleasure one should be keen not to cause harm to other people or at the same hurt them. It is important to understand that the desire for pleasure has no boundaries. Thus, if you just keep yourself to pursuing them blindly, then it is quite easy to hurt and harm other people while thinking that you satisfy your desire. The important thing to note, in this case, is that you need limits as you strive to satisfy your desires.
The need to respect the law and foster justice is a principle that everyone in the society has. As one tries to lay life boundaries that could guide them in various aspects of life they should try to keep the responsibility to uphold the law of the countries they are in. Apart from respecting the laws they have a grave responsibility to upholding justice. As a person, I should allow myself to act in a manner that denies the other people to experience their freedom. My actions and behavior should be within the precincts of the law (Jones Et al).


Considering the challenges that I have in dealing with my predicaments, I have tried to brainstorm and to get alternatives that can get me out of the challenges. As one is faced with challenges, it is a personal responsibility to look for solutions to the problems. In this case, I have alternatives that I think can be helpful. First I think I can leave my girlfriend and also stay away from my parents. I think such a solution can help me avoid the challenges of respecting my parents and following my wife’s wishes. To make sure that life remains interesting, I choose not to date anyone and make and remain a bachelor. Ideally, why should I just struggle dealing with wishes of spouses yet I can simply deal with my wishes and maintain my boundaries without any problems? The other alternatives I have are to make sure that I set my boundaries I consider the law and ensure that I respect the requirement for upholding justice. Considering the difficulties involved in making a decision I guess it is important if I take the time to consider the wishes of my girlfriend and see how I can incorporate them into my boundaries. I also need to look at ways in which I can talk to my parents about my wishes and dreams. I need them to know that I have personal goals that am supposed to follow as I strive to respect and please them.

Eliminating alternatives

Despite having various options, there is need to consider which alternatives are more workable and the ones that are not. To begin with I have an option to leave my girlfriend. Nevertheless, there is a need for one to have a family. As such this alternative is contradictory to one of the principles that require one to put family before career and other things. At the same time, the alternative to date no one still contradicts with this principle. It seems that these two opinions do not work at all. As well, the alternative to consider the wishes of my girlfriend contradicts with the principle to honor my parents. At this point, I am remained with a number of options. The other alternative I have is that I need to uphold the law and honor the need for justice. As well, I have the option of talking to my parents. The other option I have is to sit down and discuss these issues with my fiancée.
In this remaining alternative, it is important that I sit down and have a discussion with my fiancé to make things clear. With a clear discussion, I need to make sure that I explain to my finance why I prefer doing things this way or the other way. I am supposed to make my fiancé understand my preferences on various issues. Though this is quite a difficult task, it is possible to get something good out of it. Ideally, an open discussion can iron out the difficult things and thus provide a solution to issues. Talking to my parents is also another alternative that I have. In this case, I need to take time and make my parents understand my choices and my preferences. I should make sure that they see my point of divergence with what they think. At this point, they need to understand that am mature enough to make my decision and also to be responsible for those decisions. This is the most daunting task that I have, but I am sure that I will be able to go through them.


The option to simply follow the law might seem easy to follow, but there are a number of challenges to this case. Upholding justice and following them always is a broad perspective on dealing with problems. There are many personal preferences and issues that this option fails to consider. It is at this point that I remain with two options, talking to my fiancé and my parents. These two options are both workable since I will be able to make clear distinction between the ethical dilemmas. In talking to my parents, I have the opportunity to explain to them my feeling and thus striking and understanding with them. These seem to be an easy way of handling the challenges. Nevertheless, there is a possibility of my parents holding tough lines that I might not be comfortable with. The last option is to talk with my fiancée. In this case, I think it is easy to deal with my fiancé since she loves. This is my last alternative and I hopefully believe that it will work.

Works Cited

Jones, David W, and Daniel R. Heimbach.An Introduction to Biblical Ethics. , 2013. Print.
Rae, Scott B, and Paul M. Cox.Bioethics: A Christian Approach in a Pluralistic Age. Grand Rapids, Mich [u.a.: Eerdmans, 1999. Print.
Rae, Scott B. Moral Choices: An Introduction to Ethics. Grand Rapids, Mich: Zondervan Pub. House, 2000. Print.

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Good Essay About Ethical Decision With Scott B. Rae’s Model For Moral Decision Making. Free Essay Examples - Published Feb 23, 2021. Accessed May 21, 2024.

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