Good Why Is It Good To Live Together Before Marriage? Research Paper Example

Abstract

People may face issues while living together or after ending a live-in relationship, but often live-in relationships have some long term positive effects on the life of a person. While living under the same roof before the marriage ceremony takes places helps a couple understand if they share the chemistry helpful for the success of their marriage or not. They are also able to understand whether or not they complement each other, and how far they are willing to adjust to keep peace at home. All these combined help them decide on the more important aspect of their future, marriage. While living in together, if a couple realizes that they are not compatible with each other, they may split up before they take marriage vows and thus, save themselves from the agony of divorce.

Introduction

It is a common misconception cherished by many people that living together before marriage contributes to more number of divorces later on in the marriage. However, recent findings suggest otherwise. Recent researches find no correlation between cohabitation before marriage and divorce (Hoffman, 2014). In fact, the factor that determines divorce is not live-in relationship before marriage, but the age at which a couple starts cohabitating. Increasingly, all across the world, couples are living together before marriage. For most of the couples, it is a great way to find out the compatibility before tying the knot, because there are several positive benefits of a live-in relationship, such as flexibility and freedom and the avoidance of financially and emotionally crippling divorce process.

Flexibility and Freedom

Married couples often lose their flexibility and autonomy after marriage. In the lives of married couples, there are a lot of said and unsaid rules that the couples need to follow in order to make the marriage successful. These rules may or may not take into account individual preferences or desires. Often in order to accommodate the desires of one, the other partner suffers or sacrifices (Mourifie and Siow, 2014). However, that is often not the case with live-in partners. In a live-in relationship, couples despite living under the same roof and sharing many personal moments are not bound by rules of the other partner. In fact, in a live-in relationship, individuals often carry on with their own lifestyle. The expectation from the other partner is less, resulting in more autonomy and freedom (Gaspard, 2014). This is also the time when a couple begins to understand each other. If they do not find each other compatible while living in, they can mutually decide to part ways. In successful cases, couples while sharing the same roof with each other learn to make small sacrifices for the sake of the happiness of their home, which, in the long run, helps build the basic foundation of a successful marriage (Gaspard, 2014). Dating often does not reveal the character of a person fully, but in a live-in relationship, a person cannot hide his or her true personality, and this gives a proper exposure to the couples about the person they are planning to marry.

Avoidance of the Divorce Agony

The main purpose of a marriage is to live happily and avoid the agony of divorce. In many studies, it was found that the main cause of divorce is not live-in relationship, but young age marriages. Couples, who marry young, have a higher rate of divorce (Hoffman, 2014). If these people would have stayed together or cohabitated for a few years before deciding on marriage, then it would have given them a proper understanding of their relationship. Divorce often leads to emotional as well as financial hardship. Divorced couples often go through depression (Mourifie and Siow, 2014). The process of divorce is often nasty and creates financial issues due to high charges of lawyers and court related proceedings. Many a times, a person has to share a large portion of his or her wealth with the former spouse as divorce settlement.
Often divorce leads to the loss of a huge amount of accumulated wealth, making a person financially crippled (Gaspard, 2014). Live-in relationship is an early expectation setting process. It is required for people who come close to each other and plan to live together at an early age. Young couples should always go for cohabitation before tying the knot. Either living-in will make them understand that they are not compatible with each other, giving them time to part ways without heading into any agonizing divorce, or living-in will mentally prepare them in all the required aspects of marriage so that they learn to make compromises and sacrifices to succeed their marriage (Hillin, 2014).

Asking the Big Questions

Living together clarifies the main questions a couple should ask each other before taking a big decision on marriage. Dating does not give enough exposure to couples about each other’s preferences and future plans. Through dating, a person might never come to know of simple preferences of his partner regarding children, handling of financial obligations, career planning, and the time and place to start a family (Hoffman, 2014). Even if these questions are asked, the answers may not be based on the actual desires of a person, but be based only on the other partner’s expectation. However, while living together, couples cannot hide their desires and passion from each other. Partners often understand the basic needs, beliefs, priorities and aspirations of the other partner easily while in a live-in relationship, which helps them decide on the big question of marriage in a more fruitful way. Although being in a live-in relationship for a while and then deciding to split can cause huge emotional problems and depression, it is still a better and less painful option than going through divorce process after marriage (Hoffman, 2014).

Conclusion

In the last few decades, many researchers have argued that live-in relationships are the main cause of divorce. Especially, purists and strong religious groups often discounted the benefits of cohabitation before marriage. However, there is no correlation found between divorces and live-in relationship. In fact, research shows that live-in relationship actually helps reduce the number of divorce cases later on and saves the couple from going through the financially and crippling experience of divorce.

References

Hillin, T. (2014). New Finding Debunks Long-Held Belief About Living Together Before Marriage. The Huffington Post. Retrieved on 22nd February 2015, from <http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/11/divorce-cohabitation-stud_n_4936928.html>
Hoffman, D. (2014). 6 Crucial Questions to Ask Before Moving In Together. The Huffington Post. Retrieved on 22nd February 2015, from <http://www.huffingtonpost.com/damona-hoffman/6-crucial-questions-to-as_b_5738282.html>
Gaspard, T. (2014). Should I Move In With My Partner? The Huffington Post. Retrieved on 22nd February 2015, from <http://www.huffingtonpost.com/terry-gaspard-msw-licsw/should-i-move-in-with-my-_b_3692848.html>
Mourifie, I., and Siow, A. (2014). Cohabitation versus Marriage: Marriage Matching with Peer Effects. SSRN Journal. doi:10.2139/ssrn.2541895. Retrieved on 22nd February 2015, from <http://homes.chass.utoronto.ca/~siow/papers/Cobb%20Douglas%20MMF%20Nov24.pdf>